![]() There’s a bit in The Pink Panther Strikes Again where the inspector finds himself in a home gym and is trying to show off his familiarity with the parallel bars. We still plan to exit transition in midwinter in a deadly pandemic we’ve known about almost the whole year. ![]() Or to put it another way, they are telling you that the Four Seasons – an international standard of luxury and service – is actually less good than Four Seasons Total Landscaping. “Because of our bombast, our blustering, our threats and our inflexibility,” continued Major, “our trade will be less profitable, our Treasury poorer, our jobs fewer, and our future less prosperous.” I guess we meant to do that.Ī month and a half from the end of transition, the guys who promised people the sunlit uplands are now building giant car parks like it’s a positive thing. It has damaged our reputation around the world.” Still, we meant to do that. On Monday night, John Major warned that the plan “is unprecedented in all our history – and for good reason. Meanwhile, the government’s insistence on the international law-breaking clauses in its internal markets bill could easily leave the UK with no meaningful EU or US trade deal. Think of it as the Turin shroud of digital incompetence – and accept that some hyper-defensive Whitehall source will turn up to say “actually we meant to do that”. This morning, it was claimed that Johnson’s congratulatory tweet to Biden was a hastily doctored congratulatory message to Trump - with the remains of the Trump message still slightly visible. Source of escalating international bemusement or amusement? Yeah, we meant to do that. Whether it be butching out the warnings of 7,000-long lorry queues, or pissing off a new US president who already thinks our government is a nasty basket case, Boris Johnson & Co are very much one of those lines of guys. These days, our country is that press conference. It was at this point, about three days into the story, that I suddenly stopped, mid-laugh. There will ALWAYS be a line of guys who feel that it is somehow less ridiculous to look completely ridiculous than it is to simply say: “Oh wait, we made a mistake – give us half an hour and we’ll tell you the new venue.” There will ALWAYS be a line of guys who, even if they walked over a cliff, would leave very specific last words echoing behind them. Others simply think that by the time the campaign staff stopped screaming, they felt they were in too deep to turn around.Įither way, the upshot is the same: no matter the absurdity of any situation, no matter how ridiculous it looks when you get there, there will ALWAYS be a line of guys ready to butch it out like it was their plan along. Perhaps the biggest question to come out of the Four Seasons Total Landscaping press conference is: why did they carry on with it? Some sort of mistake had clearly been made, so why did they persist and pretend it hadn’t? Many speculate it was down to fear of not obeying the will of the White House idiot, however lunatic the reality of it may appear. Let’s go with something befitting the tragedy: They Were Four Years In Power. There are millions of potential captions to the picture. Joe Frazier, and Will Smith’s dad (twice).Īnd as he said all this, he was flanked by a long line of unsmiling campaign guys trying to look like nothing could be more normal than standing in a forgotten corner of suburbia in front of some garden hoses. ![]() Dead people were always voting in Philadelphia, Rudy claimed. Not by Trump, but by his personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani. Yet amazingly, the world’s media would indeed end up being addressed there.
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